Anger according to Buddhism, is the most destructive emotion around. We say it is the most destructive emotion, because it is the emotion that can cause one person to physically harm another and at worst, actually kill.
People get angry in all kinds of situations but this anger usually stems from what we call an attachment.
Attachment to relationships, attachment to belongings or material goods and attachments to ideas and beliefs.
In Buddhism we have what is known as the 4 noble truths which the Buddha taught and they are about the cessation of ‘suffering’ or Dukka. When we fall in love there is always an element of suffering because we attach ourself to the emotion of love. So the problem is not love itself, but our attachment to it and expectation of it ok that’s the first thing.
Then we have karma being born into this life in a certain body with a certain mindset. This doesn’t just happen, but the Karma is accumulated from past lives over and over. So when we come into this world we are a manifestation of our previous lives.
When we are hurt by a partner or a friend because of anger, we can usually say in Buddhism that the other person was born into this life with a need to hurt people, an anger that seems so deep rooted he/she would vent it on anyone but you just happened to be there. To be born into a life like this can only warrant compassion and so reacting with anger is completely pointless.
For this reason it’s important that you don’t own it. Don’t think they set out to ruin your life because in reality, you were simply in the wrong place at the wrong time and karmically you were brought together. So taking this into account, what lessons were or are you meant to learn??
This is what we should always ask ourself in situations like this ‘what is this telling me?’
The reason we should always come back to this way of thinking is because their wrath anger and pain has absolutely nothing to do with you whatsoever, it is their Karma and their journey and for a while it affected your life.
Sometimes it may feel like we attract certain types of people into our life, but when we are attached to any emotion it can become very intense and we don’t always give too much thought to what we are actually attaching ourselves too it’s because we have our own emptiness that needs to be filled.
In Buddhism we always say that everything comes back to the self….we can’t blame another person for the pain they cause us or the bad deeds they do to us if we ourselves allow it. That sounds a little blunt but it’s also logical too if you think about it.